TIME TO BE REALISTIC

I've played sports my entire life. I played soccer year round whether it was travel, ODP, Premier, Town, High School and then in college. I also played basketball in high school but mostly to stay in shape for soccer. So the point in me telling you this is... I have always had that competitive drive, love for competing, being active and most of all being part of a team. Through soccer I met so many good people and made new friends. I also got to travel the world to play soccer and gain an experience that people dream about.

Well senior year of college I was named captain of my soccer team but I declined and ended up quitting because I was not happy (this could be an even longer post if I added in why but maybe another time). I had found CrossFit and I wanted to focus on that but most of all loved the feeling it gave me and the healthy mindset I was growing from it. I started CrossFit in 2013 ... wow 6 years ago... time really does fly... and I instantly fell in love with it. Oh and yes I had the long socks up to the knees, bright green and purple nanos, and ANYTHING CrossFit you can imagine. As I started to really put more time in at the gym I actually started to get better and better at it. I don't know what inside me clicked but if there was a movement I could not get I wouldn't leave the gym until I got it. My mind was driven and I wanted to grow in this sport. Zach was my coach since day 1 and because of him I only grew as an athlete. I still remember my first competition at CrossFit Free and how nervous I was. "What do I wear?" "What do I bring to eat?" "What if i can't do something?" "What if I fail?" and these questions just went through my head over and over. Well I definitely brought unhealthy protein bars but I just didn't know better haha and I couldn't do every movement at the comp. The floater was a max handstand hold in a box and uh I hadn't held a handstand since I was 6 years old at gymnastics BUT I made it through the comp and ended up LOVING the rush it gave me. It brought back that competitive side I have always had and it showed me that failing was going to happen, but in order to grow you needed to work hard.

Now fast forward to 2019 and I could write a novel on all the experiences CrossFit has given me and the amazing people I have met and life long friends I have made. I even met my fiance from doing CrossFit! I traveled many times to compete, whether it was Minnesota for the Granite Games, Miami for The Wodapalooza, Albany for Regionals, Danbury for GRID league, and more. These experiences are something that I will ALWAYS have with me and honestly pushed me way out of my comfort zone and showed me I could do things I never thought I could.

As you all probably know if you do CrossFit a lot of the rules and regulations changed this year and with those changes, I changed as well. Over the past two years my body has slowly started to .... slow down. I work a full time job, coach, try to keep a house clean, count my macros, try to spend time with friends and family and so on. As the years have gone on, the competition has only gotten better and I just cannot keep up anymore. I went to Regionals in 2017 with Team Redzone and after that I just realized my body couldn't handle this anymore. The week before regionals I had to get a cortisone shot in my shoulder just to make it through the weekend. This was a big red flag for me and all that played in my head was "Court don't get hurt, don't get hurt", over and over. I found myself more nervous to do the sport than anything. Obviously during the competition I was zoned in but sometimes its after the workout or when your adrenaline comes down, when you actually feel the pain. I made it through the weekend in one piece and I don't regret doing it one bit. It was an incredible experience and it was a goal of mine since the beginning even if I didn't qualify individually.

After that I put a big focus on running to give my body a rest from CrossFit and I have learned to love it. From there things started to die down and I just let me body kind of heal and didn't do anything crazy with CrossFit. To this day... I am still doing the same thing. I still do CrossFit but I still have the shoulder injuries, back issues, knee, wrist, etc. all from the constant hard work I had put in throughout the years before. So of course once the open came along in 2018 I was thinking about picking up the pace because my mind kept telling me to keep competing and maybe just maybe it could be my year to qualify for Regionals. Well, once the rules changed this past year - it helped make my decision even easier. I just cannot keep up with all the athletes who are working out or coaching all day. I work a full time desk job, getting married next year, want to start a family and as much as I hate to admit it, many athletes have surpassed me and my body can't do it anymore. I did well for a while I mean coming in 51st in the NE region is pretty good when having a full time job. But the waking up at 4:45 AM every single morning to go to the gym and then go to the gym at lunch and then back to the gym after work was just becoming to much for me. It was just a sign for me that it was time to slow down. I needed to change gears and focus on other things now. Not that CrossFit isn't a main focus but it is not THE main focus.

It took a lot for me to get here and kind of give up all of that but I had to be realistic. I don't get to workout or coach all day or be on my feet all day long. I have injuries that I don't want to get worse and lead to surgery. I would rather be able to work out and have fun with it rather than being in a sling for months and not workout at all. And in the end I cannot keep up and have no future with CrossFit and competing at the elite level anymore. But I am okay with it. My focus now at this point is to be healthy, fit for life, tone up, lean out, and just stay in shape. I will do local comps, sure. But that's the extent of competing at this point. Things change and it was just time for me to give my mind and body a break and shift gears. I am thankful for everything competing in CrossFit has taught me and how much I have grown as a person because of this sport. It has changed my life.

At this time I am planning a wedding, have a new position at my job which requires a lot more work, plan to have kids eventually, coaching after work, and I am a homeowner which makes me realize everything my mom did all the time and I don't know how she did it!! Life is busy, non stop and on top of that I still get to the gym in the morning 3 times a week to run or do cardio as well as get to CrossFit 6 days of the week. I take that 1 rest day and have an active recovery day where maybe I even just go for a walk or pedal on the bike for 30 minutes. But in the end I have slowed down and my mind isn't concerned with if I am doing enough to qualify for this or that or am I doing as much as her to beat her and so on. It wasn't easy because like I said I have always had that competitive background but I had to realize it was just time to slow it down. The plan going forward is to do it to stay in shape, workout with friends, and stay healthy. My mind and body has thanked me since. Being honest and up front with ourselves is hard but in the end it might just make for an even better life and story.